The holiday season is a time of reflection for many, me included. However, this was heightened this year, and somewhat hijacked, by the looming start of a new decade.
While there are plenty of discussions of why 2019 isn’t the end of the decade (like here, here and here), it did little to stem the tide of ten-year progress reports flooding twitter. These outpourings of academic (and personal) success are often incredible and inspirational, but can also be overwhelming and disheartening for those of us who feel less accomplished.
So as is tradition, I decided to stick with my by-the-numbers account of the past year. You’ll find some wins, a handful of losses, and a few goals that looked a little different from start to finish. Finally, I look to the future and set my sights on kicking brand new goals in 2020.
Wins
A snapshot of the high points
- I contributed to 4 manuscripts, of which 3 were posted as preprints
- I completed my first independently-funded research project using funds totalling $40 000
- I was awarded ~ $10 000 in travel awards
- I attended 4 national and 2 international conferences
- I presented 5 research talks, 2 posters and chaired an academic career development panel
- I gave my first invited research seminar at my alma matta
- I was awarded an international post-doctoral fellowship (!)
- I performed over 45 (mostly week-long) experiments in just 159 working days, and over 75% of these gave useable results
- I wrote or edited over 30 000 lines of code
- I was an active member of 4 conference and professional committees, and an ordinary member of 4 professional societies
- I directly supervised 3 students and informally mentored at least 4 others
- I attended a 5-day leadership course, making 5 new connections that have blossomed into 3 new collaborative relationships
- I accounted for each of my working days by posting a reflection to a purpose-built Instagram profile, receiving a total of 3191 likes
- I authored 10 blog posts containing a total of 14 642 words, which received 5437 views from 3849 visitors across 36 different countries – more than half of these views were on a single post after I shared it with the Twitterverse!
- I slept an average of 7 hours a night, did an average 6260 steps per day, and lost 12 kilograms
- I read 1 1/2 more books than last year and completed 1/4 of my first ever attempt at cross stitch
- I gave my very first tech talk at a local meetup group
- I travelled to 3 countries and explored 5 new cities, and took 2571 photos
- I spent 365 days being a partner, sister, colleague and friend – being a happy, (mostly!) healthy human
Losses
A snappier shot of the low points
- Only one manuscript made it through the review process to be published
- None of my first-author manuscripts are any closer to being submitted
- Of the 431 papers I downloaded, I read less than 10% of them in full
- I am not proud of my ‘bedside manner’, as I was impatient and frequently frustrated with students
- I spent over 50 hours preparing 5 unsuccessful grant or fellowship applications
- My coding projects are still in a state of disarray, in desperate need of a tidy and some documentation
- I only read 3 1/2 books and put 12 kilograms back on
- There were days where I barely slept 4 hours and struggled to make 1000 steps
- I only took 11 days of leave, and was fuelled by stress and anxiety far more often than passion and curiosity
Lessons
The bits I wish I knew at the start of 2019, but had to learn the hard way.
- You have to crawl before you can walk – academic conferences are great, especially the chance to travel internationally. However, you have to have the time and effort already committed to a project to have something new and interesting to present, and in turn to make the most out of the experience.
- Time tracking – the more you know! There are already people using your personal data to sell you shoes and expensive holidays – why not use your personal data for good, not evil? Late in 2019, I started tracking how I spend my workday (keep an eye out for more details coming soon!), helping me refocus on my goals, dedicate productive time to important work and better plan my time for specific activities according to how long it had taken in the past.
- The sunk-cost fallacy – Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on, despite having invested so much time and effort and energy into one particular thing. If it’s not right, or not happening, maybe it never will be. And that’s ok – sometimes you have to empty some space to leave room for the next great thing, whether that’s the next big experiment or project, or the next townhouse or friendship. However…
- Perseverance is key – every application makes your next application better. Although, being privileged enough to be able to persevere is a huge source of diversity challenge in academia. Appreciate when you have the option to continue chasing a dream, and not just when that dream becomes reality.
- Decisions are hard – and making them can change the course of your life immediately, even in how you feel about the people around you.
- Some people will never understand – and that’s on them, not you. Living your best life is unlikely to please everyone, so live a life you’re proud of and whether others understand your path or not is irrelevant.
Goals
This time last year I set some SMART goals. This was a new approach to goal-setting for me, and I’m pleased that it worked (moderately) well! Physical activity was a consistent focus – even if only a short walk in the afternoon, I was conscious of the link between how my brain and body feel. I made substantial progress on building reflective practices and, last but not least, I landed the next job!
Building on this foundation, here are my goals for 2020
1. Papers are paramount. With a looming international move, I have a little over six months to tie-up all my projects and get my first-author manuscripts over the line. My goal is to finalise three publication-ready first-author manuscripts by April. With drafts floating around in various states of disarray, I will use structured writing time for at least eight hours a week to make focused progress. I will use calendar entries for accountability and maintain a master task list for tracking progress. I would also like to reorganise my reading and writing process and systems, but that’s a goal for another time!
2. Hacking hand-over. Part of the leadership course I attended encouraged us to think about ourselves as changemakers. This could result from our science, or more broadly our leadership, but nonetheless we were to imagine what change we wanted to make in the world over the next year. Then we had to plan it. Who would we connect with? What skills/tools did we need? I have always been a passionate advocate for programming for life scientists, and I would love to be the catalyst for this in our institute – to take the plan I sketched on paper (yes – real-life butchers paper!) and put it into action. My goal is to establish a local hacky hour at my institute, bringing together experienced, amateur and coding-curious researchers in a collaborative space to learn from each other. I will gather a small working group of researchers experienced in programming by the end of February, where we will brainstorm the best structure, location and time for meetups. The action items from that meeting will serve as a task list for tracking progress, and I will coordinate at least three hacky hours before handing over the reins when I move.
3. Blog better. Despite averaging one post per month last year, I felt there was a lack of substance with so many conference wrapups and few useful, practical or probative posts. The one obvious exception was a rather popular commentary on the state of NHMRC Investigator Grants. This was a combination of an important issue and a good coding project, and I would love to produce more content like this in the future. My goal is to continue posting at least once per month, of which half will pursue practical or probative themes. This will be easily tracked by my posting record here, so feel free to help me stay accountable!
4. Healthy is happy, and mindfulness matters. As I approach another decade of life (that’s right, a big three-oh this year), I am starting to appreciate that a healthy body and mind is not really something you can achieve. There is no box to tick to say you are done, and there isn’t really a finish line. A commitment to maintaining your physical and psychological health is lifelong, and relapses will happen when you aren’t paying attention. My goal is to recover my healthy habits, focusing on yoga and reflections once a week. My progress will be easily tracked by my health app (thanks technology!), and I will continue to maintain my purpose-built Instagram account with weekly posts. For the safety of me and my lab mates, that account will stay anonymous – but it serves as a neat record for me at least!
2019 was undoubtedly one of the hardest, but most rewarding years yet. Just when I finally felt comfortable in my space and role in Melbourne, I landed an international Fellowship – a huge win that is equal parts exciting and terrifying. As they say, life begins at the edge of your comfort zone. So here’s to an adventurous, unknown 2020 – may it be filled with science, self-exploration and smiles.
Image credits: @brookelark via Unplash
